June 17: I love you, and I'm not lying to you.

Today was an exhausting day. My infant son was up until 2:00 this morning with what turns out to be a double-ear infection. We didn't know that until today, of course, but a long night produced one sleepy director today. My technical crew drop-in at Cafe 116 gave me yet another opportunity to meet with individual cast and crew members...and who doesn't love Spicy Sausage and Shrimp Gumbo and Stumbeanos? Anyway, it's difficult to balance such a huge project with a longing (and necessity) to be near my baby when he's hurting. But, I'm so grateful for family who love on him, cared for both my children today, and continue to promise me that their needs are being met. It's funny, though, how even that doesn't take away the longing to know that my kids without a doubt know that I love them, and think about them in my absence.

In one of the scenes in "Sacred," one of the characters wrestles with trusting these words: "I love you." It takes a brother to tell her plainly, "I love you, and I'm not lying to you." I want to know that my children believe me when I say I love them with all my heart. Many others long to hear it, and sometimes never do. Not everyone has a parent-child relationship the way I do with my children. Not everyone cuddles with their mom or dad and feels confidant enough in their favor to say, "I miss you." I'm reminded of this every day. "Sacred" reveals so much of the reality of that, and I was reminded of this as I work-shopped two very important families in our "Sacred" story. Questions. Tears. Real. That's how it was. But it reminded me yet again how absolutely necessary the Father's love really is. Because who's family is perfect? I mean, really perfect? My gosh, we need Him to fill these giants heart holes.

Tonight, we came together for the last time before we launch the shooting of our independent film. As a very real, though imperfect, loving family. We prayed together, ate together, played together. I watched the individuals interact, and I laughed at the magic there. What joy, what a privilege, to witness pieces of the Church being threaded together as if the Holy Spirit weaved all evening with fervor. Some individuals hesitated to open up, some observed while others led. Shyness was real, but so was the invitation to be themselves. And love happened. That's what happens when the Holy Spirit reminds us that He will take charge over what is His. Though many of us would say that most of us are still strangers in many, many ways, I don't believe for a moment that each individual didn't in some wondrous way tonight (and even without words) say to one another: "I love you, and I'm not lying to you." I want to see what happens with this. I want to see where these relationships go. I am so ready for this.

So...late at night, as I think and pray about tomorrow, I cuddle with my children in their beds, whisper giggly secrets in their ears, and I tell them that ministry is important. I want them to know with all my heart that this is my heart, and I want it to be a part of theirs, too. Someday they too will discover the joy and heart-pounding pleasure of what it means to serve the Lord, and I'm excited to see how both of them will tell others that He loves them.

And that He's not lying at all.